There is special description of a woman found in the Book of Proverbs in the Bible, chapter 31, verses 10 to 31. Interestingly, even though I’ve read this chapter many times, I’ve never given much thought to its beginning. This time I’ve found it useful as well. It sets the context as the advice of a mother to her son, and emphasizes and honors the influence of a woman on her family – as does the rest of the chapter. It’s not a group of men talking about the best woman to oppress and expect perfection of, as she does all their work so they have it easy. Rather, it is a loved and respected mother, a confident and wise woman, teaching her son how he may find contentment and success in his life. She makes it clear that the woman he marries, and their relationship together, are hugely important. She also cautions him that he has great responsibilities and needs to maintain his own integrity to carry them out.

¹ The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:

² What, my son?
And what, son of my womb?
And what, son of my vows?

³ Do not give your strength to women,
Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
⁴ It is not for kings, O Lemuel,
It is not for kings to drink wine,
Nor for princes intoxicating drink;
⁵ Lest they drink and forget the law,
And pervert the justice of all the afflicted.

⁸ Open your mouth for the speechless,
In the cause of all who are appointed to die.
⁹ Open your mouth, judge righteously,
And plead the cause of the poor and needy.

A man has his own important work to do, primarily seeing to it that fairness is carried out in his sphere of influence, and he can easily limit or destroy himself if he isn’t careful, as well as cause suffering to the same people he ought to be helping. Interestingly, the two cautions here are casual relations with many women, and drunkenness. Even so, more time is taken with choosing a good wife because a poor choice here can be just as disastrous, as noted elsewhere in Proverbs (see Proverbs 12:4, 19:13, 21:19).

As for the description of the ideal woman, I want to say firstly that it’s not one more thing to make women feel bad or unworthy. In my opinion, that’s what the ‘world’ holds over women, and we all know there is too much of that as it is. The ‘world’ says: “You’re not good enough, you don’t do enough, and you aren’t beautiful.” However, that’s not what the God of the universe thinks, who made all of us and whose opinion actually matters.  These words from Proverbs 31 are His thoughts as much as they are the mother’s as she speaks to her son. They are recorded in the Bible, which is useful for understanding, teaching, and correcting that we may live a good life.

^“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man/woman of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” ~~ 2nd Timothy 3:16-17

In this particular case, it’s simply an image or description of what it means to be a successful woman, and personally, I find it empowering. It’s very clear as to what I am seeking to achieve, so I know when I am on or off course. It’s also broad enough to be applied individually and across cultures and times, and is as valuable to us in North America as it is to someone in South America, and in 2010 AD as in 1510 AD or 700 BC. The short answer is this: Love and take care of yourself, your husband, and your children. Make sure that they have good food and clothing, and comforts if possible. Make your home warm and comfortable. Be wise and kind, and help those who need it. Be skilled in things you enjoy, are useful, and/or can make you extra money.

These are the things that matter to me, that I know a bit about and am learning more day by day and year by year. They are possible to accomplish in the short term, and to master as the years pass. In addition, they make for a satisfying life. If you don’t have an image or goal for yourself that you are seeking to be like in 5 or 10 years, or daily, here is one you might like to consider.

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
¹¹ The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
¹² She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

¹³ She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
¹⁵ She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.

¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
¹⁸ She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
¹⁹ She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.

²⁰ She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

²¹ She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
²² She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

²³ Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.

²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
²⁵ Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
²⁷ She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.

²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “ Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

What are your thoughts on this passage? Leave a comment – I’d love to hear what it means to you!

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